That’s great news re job, thanks for letting me know. Thanks too for sharing how you are feeling and your honesty, this is such a tough time and hardly surprising you are struggling to make sense of it. It sounds though that you are doing ok and I hope you can go easy on yourself and be kind to yourself in all this.
I’m pleased to hear you are talking this through with Donna. I can’t offer easy answers but wanted to reassure you that doubt, questioning God, being angry etc. is all ok and probably even important as we grow in our faith. It may not help but I still ask some of those same questions and battle with doubt. In fact as someone said, if we knew for certain, it wouldn’t be faith!
God is love! That is who he is, his essence, and so he can do no other than love. He loves your mum and knows her heart in a way you do not, he longs for her to find him and know him and his grace is what matters not whether we think she has responded in the way we think she should. I think we often limit God and the work of the Spirit because we think it’s all about us and making that commitment yet we don’t see Jesus demanding that response, he treated everyone differently. Your mum has suggested an openness to know more and God will work in that, with or without our input!
I think it’s important you make those memories with your mum, pray for her and with her especially when discussion is difficult, read the bible to her if you can to reassure her of God’s love and presence but most of all, continue being the best daughter you can be ( it sounds like you are already!) And let God be God and take care of her knowing he is with her and you, even when it doesn’t feel that way.
You are doing great so keep going, keep trusting and may you know his presence and comfort as you walk through the valley (psalm 23:4).