Hello, it’s me again!
I know I am dreadfully behind, and am wrecking blog etiquette by posting at random times, but please continue to bear with me. Balancing life, work and family with cancer can be a difficult task and time management has never been my strongest skill.
Over the next few blog posts, you are going to read about situations I’m not proud of. I will do things and say things that I deeply regret to some wonderfully kind people. I am letting you into a world where I feel out of control and in which I don’t always behave the way I would normally. Often my reactions and behaviour amaze even me. If 2 months ago, we had met in totally different circumstances, you would have met a different girl to who I seem to be now.
Right now, I’m insecure. I don’t crave sympathy but understanding. I hold on tight to friends I feel secure with, who have seen me through some difficult times before, and who I know will not judge me. I know that when a friend’s family member is critically ill, you may not understand what’s going on, you may feel at loss of what to do or say, or you may feel awkward and want to pull away for fear of upsetting them. Please don’t. The support of my friends and family has been amazing. There are many different ways to be supportive, so get creative. Do whatever you do best.
Whilst we were at the hospital Saturday afternoon, my uncle Bobby took the shed door of it’s hinges and retrieved the keys from inside. We didn’t ask him to, but he saw a need and filled it. That same day, a friend text me offering to do a chocolate run for me so that I’d have something to nibble on at the hospital. Another friend offered to cover a youth group I run. When my friends meet up for a cuppa, if I can’t make it, they bring me a cupcake. Making meals is an effort, and I know it’s cliche, but actually I appreciate it when someone supplies me with food, whether they’ve invited me out for a meal or put one in my fridge. It’s one less thing for me to worry about.
Don’t ever feel like you’ve got nothing to give. Talk to your friend, find out what it they need. If they don’t need help immediately, It may help them to know that they have a bank of volunteers who can help them if they encounter a problem later, like needing someone to house sit for a delivery whilst they are at the hospital, or letting the dog out. It may be that they want someone to talk to and rant at; if you don’t know what to say, just listen. You don’t need to have the answers.
Be creative, be you, but most of all, be there. Walk with them.